Arkansas
Association of
Family and Consumer
Sciences

To look at our beautiful, bubbly baby girl, you would never imagine the struggle we went through during her first three months. Like many families, we had a first-hand experience with colic, a condition in which an otherwise healthy baby cries or screams frequently and for extended periods, without any discernible reason.

After bringing our daughter home from the hospital, she behaved like a typical newborn, crying to signal her needs for food, attention, diaper changes, etc. At around three weeks old, she began crying for long periods of time, which usually began soon after a feeding. She would act hungry and then after she began to eat, would thrash her head from side to side, screaming out like she was in pain. As a mother, I felt helpless to ease her discomfort. We tried everything- gas medicine, bouncing, singing, and rocking. Nothing worked. She would cry and cry until she fell asleep from exhaustion. We thought something had to be wrong, so we took her to the pediatrician, who diagnosed her with colic.

I then began to research the condition to try to find the best way to care for her. Eventually, we began to manage her colic by experimenting with different techniques and seeing what worked best for our baby. We tried our best to manage and at around three months old, the crying spells began to decrease. In the end we made it through- our daughter is now a bright, happy seven month-old and those days of colic are a thing of the past. Living with colic, I realized a few things that they don’t typically tell you in the baby care books that I felt might benefit other parents and caregivers.

Dealing with a colicky baby can be mentally, physically and emotionally draining. As parents, we want to provide our children with everything they need. When your baby cries, you naturally try everything you can to comfort them and when nothing works, it can cause a huge blow to your own self-esteem. You may even feel helpless, worthless or depressed. Staying up all night with a crying baby only adds to these feelings of stress. Remember that in order to give your baby the care he or she needs, you have to take care of yourself. Try to rest, whenever possible, and try to eat a balanced diet. Realize that this is a time when your baby really needs you and if you need to rest with your baby instead of doing household chores, don’t feel guilty about it. Colic is a temporary condition and that dirty bathtub will still be dirty when your baby is not crying all day long!

Colic puts stress on your relationships, especially between the two parents and anyone who might be helping care for the baby. Everyone involved should realize that it is no one else’s fault the baby is crying so much. There is no commonly accepted cause for colic, but it is certainly not from a lack of parenting abilities. Both father and mother should work together to comfort the crying infant. Sometimes a new pair of arms can be just the thing the baby needs in order to calm down.

Colic plus the 'baby blues' is a difficult combination. After giving birth, women go through drastic hormonal changes that send their emotions on a roller coaster. Realize that this is common and talk to your doctor if you feel you may be suffering from postpartum depression. It helps to put your feelings into perspective by realizing that your body is going through some changes and that you will not feel this way forever. I found that a huge help for dealing with my emotions was just having someone there to talk to.

Don’t let colic sabotage breastfeeding. Making the decision to breastfeed is one of the best gifts you can give your child that will provide him with a healthy start in life. Breastmilk is the most perfect food for your baby. In my case, my baby cried during feeding sessions. I was tempted to feel that the breastmilk could be causing her crying, but I knew in my mind that breastfeeding was the best thing for my baby, so I continued on and I am so glad that I did. If your doctor suggests switching from breastmilk to formula, I would personally get a second opinion before making this decision.

What works for one baby may not work for another. This may be the first of many situations as a parent where you realize this, but it will hold true throughout your parenthood journey. Each child is a unique individual and as parents, we must realize that we have to deal with each child in unique and individual ways. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different techniques to see what works best for you and your baby. Don’t give up trying, because you just may be surprised at how well something works. Many of the suggestions we found most helpful were from the book The Happiest Baby on the Block, by Dr. Harvey Karp. I was shocked that after trying Dr. Karp’s suggestion of swaddling, swaying and giving my baby a pacifier she instantly calmed and went to sleep. When you are experimenting, remember to keep safety first and foremost. Don’t be tempted to try things which you know are unsafe for your baby such as laying her down to sleep on her stomach. A colicky baby may sleep better on their stomach, but this puts them at a higher risk of dying from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Dealing with a colicky baby was not what I expected to be doing during my first few months of parenthood but it helped me to further develop my patience and to become a more confident parent. After all, the 'baby colic' may only be a test for those even more 'coliky' situations to come like when your daughter is crying because she lost her first boyfriend and you realize that feel helpless all over again!